On Becoming Emotionally Intelligent

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Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

The year is 10,000 B.C., a forager stands face to face with a huge predator in the African savannas. Unarmed, he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against it. His heartbeat rises and begins to sweat—he feels fear. His body prepares for flight. He takes off and saves himself from being mauled by the predator.

Fast forward to the 21st century, a college-going teenager feels the same fear as the forager did. Not because he’s facing a predator, but because he’s in his maths exam looking at his question paper and knowing he’ll flunk for sure.

Fear saved the forager’s life. But was not really a useful emotion for the teenager, expect for spoiling his peace of mind for a few days thinking about how terribly he performed in the exam. …


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Photo by Forge Accelerator

“I love this place, this is exactly the kind of place I would like to work,” I tell myself as I walk around Forge for the first time. I was quite enthraled by all the gadgets lying around, people glued to screens coding, and the entire buzzing atmosphere. I felt so excited that day and even spoke about what I saw at Forge to my friends.

I always had this fascination to work for a company that is ahead of others in time—Forge was one. A few months later I joined the company. As I write this, 9 months later, I’m certain that choosing to work for Forge is the best career decisions I’ve ever made. …


And why it is the key to learn other important skills

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Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Throughout my life I was trained how to speak—elocutions, public speaking, group discussions, debates, and so on. But I was never taught nor have I heard of someone learn “listening” formally.

One reason could be because speaking is tangible—unlike listening—it makes more noise, quite literally, thus attracts more attention as a skill.

But listening is as important as speaking is. It is an overlooked skill, both in personal and professional lives. As we shall see, it is one of the most important skills you need to master, and it also lays the foundation for other important skills too.

Listening Builds Trust

People are full of ideas, experiences, and emotions—they love to talk about them. And always look for others who can listen. …


#5 Your life is a cake

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Photo by Nghia Le on Unsplash

When I was a teenager I was happy most of the time. I didn’t have any philosophies to find happiness, my mere existence was all it took to keep me happy. But adulthood changed all that—whatever worked in teenage was absolutely useless in adulthood. And I’m sure this is the case for you as well—it’s universal.

As adults, we need to consciously put a lot of efforts to keep ourselves happy, or at least sane. It’s hard but is worth it. Because it’s the only way to lead a happy and peaceful life.

I’m gonna share 5 principles and realisations that made my life better as an adult, and I’m sure it’ll make yours better too. …


Whereas loving others isn’t so hard

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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

We were dependent on our parents while growing up. While in college, or school, we fell in love for the first time and experienced what romantic relationship felt like. Life was great when there were people always around us — parents, friends, and lover — to take care of and love us.

It’s not until we were adults and had to go through heartbreaks to realise we’ve not been loving the most important person. Someone who we should have loved long back — ourselves.

It may seem easy to love oneself, but most people struggle with it. Those who have tried would have failed, at least in the beginning. …


Demystifying the writer’s block and 3 ways to become a better writer.

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Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

We’ve all been there — sitting with a notebook or a computer to write, but the words don’t flow. You go blank. You hit a block, what is known as the “The Writer’s Block.”

The writer’s block is treated as a serious problem in the writer’s community, and there are numerous articles written about it. But is it worth all the attention? Is that the one stopping you from becoming a good writer? I don’t think so.

The writer’s block is only a mindset, it shouldn’t stop you from becoming a good writer. …


5 simple techniques to generate creative ideas

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Creativity has always been one of the most important skills that someone can possess, and given the uncertainty future, it is even more significant.

Though important, creativity is difficult to hone.

The reason is that creativity is highly subjective & contextual and there is no yardstick to measure it. Hence achieving perfection in creativity is non-existent.

Though there isn’t a formal rule book to learn from, there are some techniques to help us be more creative.

Get Creative by Procrastinating

Everyone has probably had a brilliant idea pop out of nowhere, a moment of epiphany or great insight. Ideas like these seem to materialise out of thin air, but in fact, it is the work of our subconscious mind working on a problem we desperately need solutions for. …


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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

I was happy when I knew she was the one, the one I’m gonna marry. Everything was set, everything came together, I thought nothing would stop me from spending the rest of my life with the girl I loved. But one day she dropped it “I don’t wanna marry you right now, I’m sorry,” as tears rolled down her cheek. Failure hit me hard, again.

Things seemed fine for a few days after the breakup, so I assumed I was mature enough to handle it. …


This tool helps you make better decisions with lesser effort

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Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

Making decisions are important in life, how we decide now will determine how our future will evolve. Though they are important we cannot logically analyse all the alternative with relevant facts and data before deciding, at least not the trivial ones, because doing that every day that will exhaust our mental energy and leaves us drained out.

To most people in their 20s, the transition from a teenager to an adult, is even more challenging, since they don’t know what they want and end up making some terrible decisions.

Is there an easier way to make decisions with considerably less mental exhaustion? and at the same time ensuring that we make relatively better decisions? …


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Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

We’ve all been in at least one instance where our friend betrays us and we think “Why did I even choose her to be my friend? I should have been wise before making her be my close friend.”

The reason is we don’t decide on who should be close with, we let people in into our social circle without putting some serious thought. Luckily there is a reliable way we can choose whom to make our close friends as.

Before going on to decide that, you need to understand more about the most important person in life — Yourself

One of the most important things you can do to understand yourself is to articulate your values — because that’s what will decide who you are, how you behave, and will help you make tough decisions. Good values serve as an internal compass that drives you in the right direction in life, and that’s why knowing what your values are is important. Some of us clearly know what our values are, but others find it difficult to even know if they have any; however, given enough thought and with the help of certain tools and techniques anyone can articulate their values. …

About

Arun Suresh

I write about Self, Relationships, Skills, and Creativity.

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