How to find Yourself after a Breakup

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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Memories hurt, not the person

While in a relationship, most of us tend to associate a lot of things we do with our partner, even while spending time alone. For instance, thinking about how it would be like, to binge-watch a TV series together; imagining of shopping together; buying clothes our partners like; and many more.

You will never get the answers

Why did she do that to me? Why did she leave me? What went wrong? Was it because of me?

Your identity is yours, and only yours

The feeling of having a person who hugs us every day and saying I love you is one of the best feelings ever, and those moments would be some of the most beautiful memories in a relationship. Though blissful while in a relationship, nothing can hurt as those memories do after breaking up.

Connect to people, don’t get attached

Most people after breaking up tend to isolate themselves from people and prefer being alone, but it does more damage than good. Connecting with people is important and it’s one of the important things to do while going through a breakup, it gives a sense of warmth and comfort. But there is a clear distinction between getting connected and getting attached — getting connected is to have a meaningful relationship with people, whereas getting attached is depending on someone for something, especially happiness.

Love and let go

My arguments above do not mean you shouldn’t love anyone, to me love is one of the most beautiful feelings we as humans experience; because love for our fellow beings is what humanity is all about. But loving others is truly beautiful only when you love yourself — self-love always comes first. Most of us do not realise this and directly jump into loving others — wrapping our identity and getting attached — so when they leave it feels like we’ve lost meaning in life.


This piece of writing is not a rule book for people to get over a breakup, I’m only helping you to clearly define your problem because it’s you who has to find the solution. Though I’ve given a few tips, it may or may not work for you, you’ll have to find the solution through a self-journey — seeking answers. The journey is not gonna be pleasant, but I can promise you that the destination is beautiful, because I’m standing there and I’m in love with the view.

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I write about Self-Development, Skills, Learning, and Creativity.

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